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Simon's Cycle Shorts

Bicycles can talk you know!

Stage Revolution

Being bicycles, we’re more than familiar with revolutions; our wheels complete them every time we move. We’ve even been known to forcibly overthrow riders when things weren’t going well – yes we can crash when we want to, you know.  But discontent bringing us to change the way our sport was  governed, was never discussed – until last years Tour de France, that is. READ MORE

 

Ride to Haiku

Ride the urban maze?

Commute angry city roads?

Cyclists, just don’t doze!

READ MORE

Fixed For Christmas

I’ve just been through the hardest two months of my life. It all started when he decided that more money was needed for Christmas and so took a job in Central London. Now, you might think that this would seem like a sensible idea for a young man in his final year of university who is up to his overdraft limit; until you realise that the job entailed him riding me around the streets of the busy roads of the capital for ten hours a day – which wasn’t so sensible. Yes, he thought it was a cool to be a cycle courier; he’d learn the streets of London on a bike and get paid for it!  READ MORE

The Chain Gang – a letter

Dear Cyclist

We are the Chain Gang. We might not be an officially recognised organisation or a nefarious underground crew of miscreants doing bad deeds in your ‘hood, but we do represent a very powerful forward-looking movement with a very important message for everyone that rides a bike. READ MORE

Hot Ride

I never quite knew whether I was better off being owned or stolen, but having been in both camps I think I’m now entitled to have an opinion. Being owned by James had its positives; complete adoration from a weak-kneed banker, dry rides only, plenty of time indoors hung on the wall as a work of art for dinner party debate, and even the occasional overseas trip. But the downsides probably outweighed them; READ MORE

The War to End All Rides

We have been waiting for Charles to come home. Four years I have stood against these stairs; the occasional waft of Ariel’s duster my only physical contact with anyone.    READ MORE

Ball of Fire

Every weekday morning at around seven thirty, me and ‘Ash the Angry’ (as I nick-named him) embarked on a very special race. One in which we were the only competitor. We raced time and the little numbers on the computer –    READ MORE

Village Bike

Wow, he was a bit of a rough one! It’s a good job they’re not all like that or I wouldn’t have lasted a week. The ‘he’ in question picked me up outside the station at around 3pm this afternoon and without so much as a single word, checked me out for size, gave my saddle a squeeze and then took me to a house up Duke Street; READ MORE

Spin Cycle

Our days are long and the classes repetitive and boring. Apparently, I’m one of the ‘lucky’ ones because I’m sat in the front row which means that I get used in more sessions than the others. But it actually means that I get the really keen customers; the ones who want to impress the trainer? The ones that try harder and sweat more? You know the type. READ MORE

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