Simon's Shorts

Short Stories to Pass the Time

Taken for a Ride

I might look like a tired old replica of Bernard Hinault’s 1985 Tour de France winning bike, but there is more to me than meets the eye. READ MORE

The Parish Counsellor

Erwin Rademaker told everyone he was a Dutchman but, within a few months of him arriving in the village, I realised that this, among other things, wasn’t true. READ MORE

Out The Back Door

I always know when it’s happened. I don’t have any strange sixth sense or anything like that; there are a couple of signs that tell me that all is not right. I first feel it when the back door latch lifts – the small hesitation of movement as the door opens because he’s resting on the handle. READ MORE

Stage Revolution

Being bicycles, we’re more than familiar with revolutions; our wheels complete them every time we move. We’ve even been known to forcibly overthrow riders when things weren’t going well – yes we can crash when we want to, you know.  But discontent bringing us to change the way our sport was  governed, was never discussed – until last years Tour de France, that is. READ MORE


Ride to Haiku

Ride the urban maze?

Commute angry city roads?

Cyclists, just don’t doze!


Fixed For Christmas

I’ve just been through the hardest two months of my life. It all started when he decided that more money was needed for Christmas and so took a job in Central London. Now, you might think that this would seem like a sensible idea for a young man in his final year of university who is up to his overdraft limit; until you realise that the job entailed him riding me around the streets of the busy roads of the capital for ten hours a day – which wasn’t so sensible. Yes, he thought it was a cool to be a cycle courier; he’d learn the streets of London on a bike and get paid for it!  READ MORE

The Chain Gang – a letter

Dear Cyclist

We are the Chain Gang. We might not be an officially recognised organisation or a nefarious underground crew of miscreants doing bad deeds in your ‘hood, but we do represent a very powerful forward-looking movement with a very important message for everyone that rides a bike. READ MORE

Hot Ride

I never quite knew whether I was better off being owned or stolen, but having been in both camps I think I’m now entitled to have an opinion. Being owned by James had its positives; complete adoration from a weak-kneed banker, dry rides only, plenty of time indoors hung on the wall as a work of art for dinner party debate, and even the occasional overseas trip. But the downsides probably outweighed them; READ MORE

The War to End All Rides

We have been waiting for Charles to come home. Four years I have stood against these stairs; the occasional waft of Ariel’s duster my only physical contact with anyone.    READ MORE

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